Wow what a week...or 2 or 3.
Working full time, trying to pack up a 5 bedroom house to fit into an apartment is no joke. So immediately its survival mode--no exercise, stress eating, snuggling with dogs, and no spending money.
Tomorrow we rent the uhaul and start loading; we have to truck until Tuesday. So I think we'll get it all done. I'm so over this working every day of the week lol...I stand for almost 6 hours or more a day even though my shift is only about 7 hours. Its non-stop standing and going back and forth. I really need to invest in some decent Nike's. They are the best for what I'm doing--I remember back to those days of standing a lot!! I hated it! But the trade off is that its not so so bad, like I thought it was going to be during training. The training was way crazy, and not at all what I thought the job would be. There are some things that I'm not completely confident in; and I'm sure because I'm working with the least personable person tomorrow that I''ll probably be ready to kill her or me or both of us by 3. Probably 11am. Who knows. I'm going to try myself to win her over as far as this cold as ice exterior she gives me. Sunday and Monday I'm off and packing/moving. We got the truck money squared away, so thank god, or we'd be using the Tacoma!
I know that it will be emotional coming up in the next couple weeks until after my family leaves. It will be great when they get here and we get through the burial service and I can enjoy their company for a few days before heading back to work. Hopefully we can get the apt squared away so that we're not living in box hell for weeks at a time too. I want to start spinning class this fall so I can get the biking thing. That is my goal.
So Ruthie, and Daddy, we're getting there....slowly but surely. I still have big plans for the future!!!
Friday, October 16, 2015
Sunday, October 11, 2015
Therapy.
We've been going to therapy at Gilchrest Hospice in Columbia. We had them for mommy, so we are entitled to free sessions. So Terri and I've gone 3 times. I want to get the most of it, so I'm going to try to write something things that I want to discuss. Thats the hardest part. Remember what to say and how to get every minute of worthiness out of it.
I feel so cheated, I remember being with her at the end; I remember thinking I would be relieved it was over, but so fucking beyond pissed and angry that it just happened---that ALL of it happened- to my mother. My beautiful amazing brave and special mother.
I remember shopping for something to wear for the funeral; I couldn't find a damn thing. I remember picking the music out with Terri. I remember seeing her for the last time. Walking out of the room crying, but also feeling the weight lifted. I remember telling Mary I loved her so much and that I was so glad she was a part of our family and hugging her. We hadn't really had a moment like that ever.
The sun came out too as we walked out to the parking lot.
I couldn't process the first night in my life without my mom. I remember having this nauseated feeling come over me, I felt strangely sick. I had to all Travis back into the room, I was so alone. I wanted to cry, but i wanted to sleep. I wanted to just...be. I wanted her back, I want her to be in Heaven. I wanted to see my sister Ann, she would be coming in a couple days. I wanted to tell the world "She's gone! My mom is gone! My mom died!" I wanted to talk about it, I wanted to just fall apart. But all I could do was sleep. I was concerned about my dad. He was so sad, so sick and so exhausted. I wanted to hug him. But he wasn't a hugger. Maybe I should have just tried. He did open up to Travis a lot though in the upcoming months.
I remember writing my speech. I rewrote it 4 times, finally making it just what I wanted. I could have spoke for 30 minutes if I was allowed. I had so much to say.
I remember how cold it was. That bone chilling cold air. February was not very forgiving. We had her service on Valentine's day. I eulogized my mother on Valentine's day, the day of love. I've never loved someone as much as her. My dad maybe, they're equal. So it was fitting. Sending our love up to Heaven on a day that Love was in the air.
I remember after that weekend was over and we dropped Ann at the airport and hung out with Aunt Karen and Uncle David in DC that my surgery was about to come up. It happened the weekend after we had my mom's funeral. My poor dad was so worried when we drove home in the snow. It was bad weather. he called me like every 15 minutes. I didn't mind. It took us 4 hours to drive 40 minutes. Then him and I spent the week at home together; grieving every night; "I miss the little woman!" I would make him dinner and eat with him. I was on my fresh-post op diet so I was limited. We shared that time together, I'll always remember it. During the day he'd ask from his recliner "You ok Sara?" He really cared and was concerned. I'll treasure that forever.
Flashbacks to my dad mowing the lawn 15-20 years ago on a sunny day; him coming up on the deck and coming in to get water.
Shopping with my mom. Before she was sick.
My purple walls--Martha Stewart Lilac paint. My quilt set from QVC. My blue carpet from Home Depot. My shade and valence. I still have them.
She ironed my uniform for my nursing clinicals. I remember seeing her in the living room with ironing board out doing it. That was right when she started getting sick.
Watching Match Game at night in between babysitting and my evening classes and just laughing.
I see my dad in his recliner every time i close my eyes it seems like. Or my mom laying in her hospital bed, dying. I remember her smile when she looked at me that last time and i said "I LOVE YOU!" and she said "I LOVE YOU TOO HUNNY!" she never spoke again. She basically shut her eyes. And never woke up. She died Sunday after she told me that Thursday.
Always having the presence of one or both of my parents in this house. When I was younger mostly.
Christmas, seeing the tree lit up; always green and blue which I've carried on in her tradition.
My God, how much I miss that woman. Why does she have to be gone so soon????
I feel so cheated, I remember being with her at the end; I remember thinking I would be relieved it was over, but so fucking beyond pissed and angry that it just happened---that ALL of it happened- to my mother. My beautiful amazing brave and special mother.
I remember shopping for something to wear for the funeral; I couldn't find a damn thing. I remember picking the music out with Terri. I remember seeing her for the last time. Walking out of the room crying, but also feeling the weight lifted. I remember telling Mary I loved her so much and that I was so glad she was a part of our family and hugging her. We hadn't really had a moment like that ever.
The sun came out too as we walked out to the parking lot.
I couldn't process the first night in my life without my mom. I remember having this nauseated feeling come over me, I felt strangely sick. I had to all Travis back into the room, I was so alone. I wanted to cry, but i wanted to sleep. I wanted to just...be. I wanted her back, I want her to be in Heaven. I wanted to see my sister Ann, she would be coming in a couple days. I wanted to tell the world "She's gone! My mom is gone! My mom died!" I wanted to talk about it, I wanted to just fall apart. But all I could do was sleep. I was concerned about my dad. He was so sad, so sick and so exhausted. I wanted to hug him. But he wasn't a hugger. Maybe I should have just tried. He did open up to Travis a lot though in the upcoming months.
I remember writing my speech. I rewrote it 4 times, finally making it just what I wanted. I could have spoke for 30 minutes if I was allowed. I had so much to say.
I remember how cold it was. That bone chilling cold air. February was not very forgiving. We had her service on Valentine's day. I eulogized my mother on Valentine's day, the day of love. I've never loved someone as much as her. My dad maybe, they're equal. So it was fitting. Sending our love up to Heaven on a day that Love was in the air.
I remember after that weekend was over and we dropped Ann at the airport and hung out with Aunt Karen and Uncle David in DC that my surgery was about to come up. It happened the weekend after we had my mom's funeral. My poor dad was so worried when we drove home in the snow. It was bad weather. he called me like every 15 minutes. I didn't mind. It took us 4 hours to drive 40 minutes. Then him and I spent the week at home together; grieving every night; "I miss the little woman!" I would make him dinner and eat with him. I was on my fresh-post op diet so I was limited. We shared that time together, I'll always remember it. During the day he'd ask from his recliner "You ok Sara?" He really cared and was concerned. I'll treasure that forever.
Flashbacks to my dad mowing the lawn 15-20 years ago on a sunny day; him coming up on the deck and coming in to get water.
Shopping with my mom. Before she was sick.
My purple walls--Martha Stewart Lilac paint. My quilt set from QVC. My blue carpet from Home Depot. My shade and valence. I still have them.
She ironed my uniform for my nursing clinicals. I remember seeing her in the living room with ironing board out doing it. That was right when she started getting sick.
Watching Match Game at night in between babysitting and my evening classes and just laughing.
I see my dad in his recliner every time i close my eyes it seems like. Or my mom laying in her hospital bed, dying. I remember her smile when she looked at me that last time and i said "I LOVE YOU!" and she said "I LOVE YOU TOO HUNNY!" she never spoke again. She basically shut her eyes. And never woke up. She died Sunday after she told me that Thursday.
Always having the presence of one or both of my parents in this house. When I was younger mostly.
Christmas, seeing the tree lit up; always green and blue which I've carried on in her tradition.
My God, how much I miss that woman. Why does she have to be gone so soon????
We're knee-deep in boxes.
Flashback day. TONS of them.
So last week. I worked 5 days in a row. For most, this is totally normal. Not for me. I used to work 3 then a day off then a couple or a weekend or something. At a job where I could wear street clothes, whatever shoes I wanted, and we basically could fuck off when we wanted. Now I have a set uniform. I actually do shots, procedures, do IV's and fluids. I haven't done much with the babies and kids. I'd prefer not to. I give out tons of vaccinations including but not limited to the flu and t-dap. Strep tests. Nothing like Springfield.
But all the fear and anxiety I had was gone, for the most part, and I got through it-albeit I was exhausted. Standing for 7 hours mostly. I'll get used to that. I don't hardly eat at work, so thats good. I try to drink a lot of fluids but I don't always have time to do that. I guess I can safely say it'll get even better and I'll have crappy days and I'll have good days. Thats every where. Back in tomorrow at 830am!
Yesterday we both started the big pack job. HOLY HELL. I have a lot of stuff. A lot of it was inherited from my mom. I don't know if our apt will have room for all of it, I think I'll be investing in a storage unit somehow. And going through all of this stuff one or two more times. Packing sucks but packing and being exhausted doesn't help. Then today we had to have a big pissy fight about Bugsy peeing in the kitchen because no one let him out. Its always his job to let them out at night. I'm asleep! He stays up til 1 or 2. Its his job to let them outside in the back. I don't know how this is going to work once we move. We're going to have to invest in some extra carpet to go over the carpet :( How ghetto. So after argument after argument we got started; dropped off a truck load of stuff at the Good Will then started packing the kitchen. So much crap. I had to wrap the delicate, breakable stuff. And I find stuff that belonged to my mom or dad and mostly, I was good. I didn't cry. But a few sobs here and there.
The topic came up numerous times about our relationship and how much we are out of it, and how much we are more like roommates. I broke it down for him--you can't have a tantrum then say "Fuck you!" to me and expect me to be in love with you. Its borderline abusive. I don't like it. It makes me not want to be with you or trust you to have my back or be my man. But we did get 1/3 to 1/2 of the kitchen packed and the rest should go quickly. Its the rest of the upstairs that i'm a little worried about. But like every other move, Ive had it done in the nick of time. So I bet thats how this will go. I just want to get on with it. We need money too, and we need to sell this house. So even though it kills me in ways people don't always understand, this house will no longer be mine, and it will have to be sacrificed in order to move on. I will be an absolute wreck at some point, when its literally not ours anymore. When the keys go bye bye. When I can't walk in the door. When I can't go in the back yard. So sad. Incredibly heart breaking. I'm sort of looking forward to burying Daddy, just because we will all be together one last time. Except for Maggie. We need to really have a sentimental moment: These are our parents. They are are going to be buried next to each other forever. They are responsible for creating us. I feel like we need to share a moment. I need to cry, hug, and love with everyone. Family is #1. We are always going to be related, blood is thicker then any fight or petty bullshit. Could we actually enjoy yourselves together now that we have no more of these problems?
I want to go on here eventually. I want to do me. I want to do my life. I want to try new thing, I want to have kids, have the love of my life with me everyday; loose the anxiety. Loose the sadness. I want to do the things on my bucket list. I only have one body, one soul, and I need to use it accordingly, especially since I'm already 35. I need to become the Sara that everyone will one day remember when I'm gone; I am incomplete right now.
"You can tell the sun in jealous in his sky, when we walked in fields of gold.
You'll remember me..."
Wednesday, October 7, 2015
Grief is...
I didn't realize how much grief I had deep down inside of me at this time. I think it manifested in other ways throughout the summer. I wasn't busy, so I kept busy with things I wanted to do. Now I'm working....5 days a week. And if you know me, I'm used to a different type of job and schedule.
And we're moving in about 1 1/2 weeks. That is going to kill me. But it is definitely for the best because it's killing me living here, with all of the memories. So the logical and smart thing to do is move on, no matter how painful it seems at first, it will pay off in the end.
I have been seeing a Gilchrest grief counselor with Terri twice now, and I think it's helping although I could go for 4 hours a week and it would barely skim the surface. I still remember sitting at Witzke's holding Aunt Susie's hand with my left hand and Travis's with my right singing along to "Somewhere Over The Rainbow/What a Wonderful World" (which is playing while I type) and I automatically feel the same feelings I had that day. You were gone...you are now ashes...you are not my mom in the physical sense, you are my mom in the Heavenly sense. I remember feeling like "i can't believe this is happening, but I know its happening, so I'm going to soak it all in."
We did walk in fields of gold; I will keep you in my heart; I will remember my birthday, and February 8 as well as Valentine's Day in a completely different way now. Sometimes sobbing and getting out the tears is cathartic and helpful, which is what is happening while I'm writing this. I haven't even touched on the fact that I'm still so angry at ALZ for taking your life. Making you suffer the way you did. Making you feel like you didn't know your loved ones, making you hurt, making you confused and scared. I can only pray that you deep down inside felt the love from all of us. I really wish that I could help be a part of the movement to help cure this disease, or at least education everyone on what an ordeal it is. There is such a huge lack of education for family and caregivers--the problem is no one knows where to go to get answers or help or how to cope themselves, both the patients and the loved ones. I'm still lost and your death has already happened! I can't imagine going through this again with someone. I pray no one in our family develops this disease.
Grief is.....overwhelming, scary, mind-numbing, intruding, demanding, and down right awful.
MY SUNSHINE ALWAYS AND FOREVER. I LOVE YOU RUTHIE! I MISS YOU LIKE CRAZY!
And we're moving in about 1 1/2 weeks. That is going to kill me. But it is definitely for the best because it's killing me living here, with all of the memories. So the logical and smart thing to do is move on, no matter how painful it seems at first, it will pay off in the end.
I have been seeing a Gilchrest grief counselor with Terri twice now, and I think it's helping although I could go for 4 hours a week and it would barely skim the surface. I still remember sitting at Witzke's holding Aunt Susie's hand with my left hand and Travis's with my right singing along to "Somewhere Over The Rainbow/What a Wonderful World" (which is playing while I type) and I automatically feel the same feelings I had that day. You were gone...you are now ashes...you are not my mom in the physical sense, you are my mom in the Heavenly sense. I remember feeling like "i can't believe this is happening, but I know its happening, so I'm going to soak it all in."
We did walk in fields of gold; I will keep you in my heart; I will remember my birthday, and February 8 as well as Valentine's Day in a completely different way now. Sometimes sobbing and getting out the tears is cathartic and helpful, which is what is happening while I'm writing this. I haven't even touched on the fact that I'm still so angry at ALZ for taking your life. Making you suffer the way you did. Making you feel like you didn't know your loved ones, making you hurt, making you confused and scared. I can only pray that you deep down inside felt the love from all of us. I really wish that I could help be a part of the movement to help cure this disease, or at least education everyone on what an ordeal it is. There is such a huge lack of education for family and caregivers--the problem is no one knows where to go to get answers or help or how to cope themselves, both the patients and the loved ones. I'm still lost and your death has already happened! I can't imagine going through this again with someone. I pray no one in our family develops this disease.
Grief is.....overwhelming, scary, mind-numbing, intruding, demanding, and down right awful.
MY SUNSHINE ALWAYS AND FOREVER. I LOVE YOU RUTHIE! I MISS YOU LIKE CRAZY!
Friday, August 21, 2015
Its always emotional around here!
So Ruthie, I'm starting a new job this week; I sort of started last week. It's at Patient First. We took you there once to have your hand stitched and give you a tetanus shot. I also applied and interviewed at HCGH for my old job. I haven't heard back from them yet but I will follow up next week. I'm not sure if I want to go there or not. I want to see what PF is like first. So far everyone's been nice to me and it doesn't seem to stressful, like what I had before. I have to have faith in myself and stop fearing everything. I can do this. Please watch over me and guide me through this, I still need your help in that department.
Daddy I'm sorry, I tried to get your house together. I'm sure whoever buys it will make it a nice home, just like you did. I love you. Please watch over me. Please watch over Uncle Jerry, Aunt Annette, Uncle Fred, and Aunt Beah. I can't imagine life without them. We have the big reunion planned for next summer too, and they HAVE TO BE THERE!!!
PS, How bout them Packers? GO PACK GO!
Wednesday, August 19, 2015
Its almost official...summer 2015 is over.
I love summer. Despite the fact that it was the worst summer ever besides maybe 2008. But, summer is coming to an end. The teachers went back this week, the kids go back next week. I'm not sure how I feel about this. It means 2 things--time is flying by. Time is distancing me from June 14.
The house stuff has been on hold, thank God, for about 2 1/2 weeks now, which I guess is good only because I started working yesterday and I don't really have the brain capacity to deal with anything more. I'm praying that it just goes smoothly and I can fly under the radar. Its getting to be a pain in the ass just to walk the poor dogs everyday! LET ALONE RUN! And I'm embarrassed to say that I haven't had a chance to ride the bike I was dying to have. As I type, my left leg muscles are twitching. I'm trying to guzzle as much water as I can since I'll be at the Orioles game tonight and it is hot out.
I'm not going to quit. I'm not done, I just haven't focused on this and put it in my daily routine like you would if you were really organized :P I have goals and dreams and despite what all the cute memes on the internet say, they're damn hard to accomplish!
I've got some actual "homework" to do for work--I gotta brush up on some actual nursing topics. My cardiac drugs, vaccinations, pediatrics in general; shit. Everything? I just spent 5 years babysitting adults who could hardly handle walking to a fucking dining room to eat a meal. Juice and cookies?? None for you! Or, here are you meds..."THESE AREN'T MY MEDS BITCH!" *sigh* I have keys. You don't. If you want to leave this shithole, I suggest you take them...
There are a lot of things I want to write in here but I don't think they are appropriate considering that I am aiming this blog to be more about the grieving process I'm experiencing with my parents and what I'm doing to combat that.
Work will definitely help with that. I need to incorporate some exercise into this. I need a left leg to stop giving me fits too! And the weather hasn't been all that wonderful either, very hot and humid. It's one thing when its the beginning of the summer and its new, but now that we're weeks into it, it's getting old. I'd rather sit at the pool. I wish I had someone to go to the pool with me :( It gets lonely being there. I'm not watching kids there like I used to back in the day, and Travis doesn't like to go. So I'm stuck alone. Watching all the mom's and dad's and their kids. And when I go to the River Hill pool, I feel like the pauper who is visiting the prince's neighborhood!!! I have loads of ideas for short stories and book topics...but thats a whole separate thing that again, doesn't relate to this blog. Oh you didn't know? I will write a book someday...I'm not sure exactly what about but I will. Fiction I suppose, because writing about my life or experiences seems too hard and painful. Plus I'm sure I'd offend someone. Can't do that now can we?
Maybe by the next time I write in here I'll have something worthy of writing about. A run, a bike ride, something.
The house stuff has been on hold, thank God, for about 2 1/2 weeks now, which I guess is good only because I started working yesterday and I don't really have the brain capacity to deal with anything more. I'm praying that it just goes smoothly and I can fly under the radar. Its getting to be a pain in the ass just to walk the poor dogs everyday! LET ALONE RUN! And I'm embarrassed to say that I haven't had a chance to ride the bike I was dying to have. As I type, my left leg muscles are twitching. I'm trying to guzzle as much water as I can since I'll be at the Orioles game tonight and it is hot out.
I'm not going to quit. I'm not done, I just haven't focused on this and put it in my daily routine like you would if you were really organized :P I have goals and dreams and despite what all the cute memes on the internet say, they're damn hard to accomplish!
I've got some actual "homework" to do for work--I gotta brush up on some actual nursing topics. My cardiac drugs, vaccinations, pediatrics in general; shit. Everything? I just spent 5 years babysitting adults who could hardly handle walking to a fucking dining room to eat a meal. Juice and cookies?? None for you! Or, here are you meds..."THESE AREN'T MY MEDS BITCH!" *sigh* I have keys. You don't. If you want to leave this shithole, I suggest you take them...
There are a lot of things I want to write in here but I don't think they are appropriate considering that I am aiming this blog to be more about the grieving process I'm experiencing with my parents and what I'm doing to combat that.
Work will definitely help with that. I need to incorporate some exercise into this. I need a left leg to stop giving me fits too! And the weather hasn't been all that wonderful either, very hot and humid. It's one thing when its the beginning of the summer and its new, but now that we're weeks into it, it's getting old. I'd rather sit at the pool. I wish I had someone to go to the pool with me :( It gets lonely being there. I'm not watching kids there like I used to back in the day, and Travis doesn't like to go. So I'm stuck alone. Watching all the mom's and dad's and their kids. And when I go to the River Hill pool, I feel like the pauper who is visiting the prince's neighborhood!!! I have loads of ideas for short stories and book topics...but thats a whole separate thing that again, doesn't relate to this blog. Oh you didn't know? I will write a book someday...I'm not sure exactly what about but I will. Fiction I suppose, because writing about my life or experiences seems too hard and painful. Plus I'm sure I'd offend someone. Can't do that now can we?
Maybe by the next time I write in here I'll have something worthy of writing about. A run, a bike ride, something.
This is my Uncle David, my mom's little brother.
And his daughter Kari and her daughter Mary Louise. Uncle David's 69th birthday was
last week :) HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I love these people to death <3
Tuesday, August 11, 2015
You were born this way, baby
I can't help it I was born last, the 6th of 6. I am so thankful to be born in such a great area. Columbia has been a really awesome place to grow up and work in. I have a love/hate relationship with it---it's so expensive to live in. But there's so many perks so its worth the price in my opinion. Who knows, maybe one day I will buy a house around here.
Any who, that wasn't the point of this posting.
I got my bike today!!!!! I GOT MY BICYCLE! I WANT TO RIDE MY BICYCLE! oops sorry, got a little excited :P Had to lower the seat, like, Compton style, and then tilt that thing down so it's not up my who-ha like a ....yah.
Rode for a few minutes just to get used to it. I am in love. Will get back out tomorrow. I need to figure out the shoes though. No clips. And form and posture. I need to learn that. And for god sakes is there a long flat surface ANYWHERE in this damn town? I need to practice lol. Iowa is full of hills, like any roads. Don't tell me its flat because no where is completely flat. Except North Dakota where you can watch your dog run away for 2 hours. (That was a recent joke posted on Facebook too.)
I told my Aunt Beah today about my bike and how I want to ride with her kids (my cousins) Troy and Ty and my second cousins Andy, Lucas, and whomever else is in on this ride. My other cousin Putzy is doing it again this summer too, but with his own group I guess. It's going to be a blast! I'm dying for this moment to be with my family. I'm praying it all works out so I can do it.
Speaking of family, my dad's brother, my Uncle Jerry, well his wife is in the hospital. Aunt Annette. Dear sweet Annette. She broke her ankle too! I am praying for a smooth recovery. Poor Uncle Jerry, can't catch a break. My Aunt Beah's husband, my Uncle Fred is trying to get well so he can go on his guys fishing trip with his boys and grand kids. I hope he can enjoy it all--he has cancer too; partial lobectomy done...what a troopah. Seriously, does every get sick all in the same 5 year span??? I guess
I better live it up now :) Better keep dancin like we're 22 as Taylor Swift says. ;)
I talked to my Uncle David tonight. His 69th birthday is this week. Holy shit where does the time go? He's the young oops like me on my mom's side. So next year will be the big 70, thats means another party. I feel like I've got 5 vacations planned already for next year. I hope I can pull them all off.
It is possible i might get up and run in the morning tomorrow...In fact I think I'll try. Ruthie I'm going to try to bust out a run for ya. A short one, maybe Lake Elkhorn. Since its been almost 3 weeks. I gotta get back out there. Must stay active. Stop drinking iced coffee and other sugary drinks!! No more red meat. We will be getting some fish up in this house!!!! Anyway.
Keep sending me love from above <3 <3
That is Lidgerwood, North Dakota, Main Street? 1908. When my grandmother was a little bitty girl. I think she lived some where nearby on a farm though. But I've been on that main street. and I vaguely remember it. Thats where it all began, were my grandparents met and married and started their awesome family, and all the love in my heart comes from <3
Any who, that wasn't the point of this posting.
I got my bike today!!!!! I GOT MY BICYCLE! I WANT TO RIDE MY BICYCLE! oops sorry, got a little excited :P Had to lower the seat, like, Compton style, and then tilt that thing down so it's not up my who-ha like a ....yah.
Rode for a few minutes just to get used to it. I am in love. Will get back out tomorrow. I need to figure out the shoes though. No clips. And form and posture. I need to learn that. And for god sakes is there a long flat surface ANYWHERE in this damn town? I need to practice lol. Iowa is full of hills, like any roads. Don't tell me its flat because no where is completely flat. Except North Dakota where you can watch your dog run away for 2 hours. (That was a recent joke posted on Facebook too.)
I told my Aunt Beah today about my bike and how I want to ride with her kids (my cousins) Troy and Ty and my second cousins Andy, Lucas, and whomever else is in on this ride. My other cousin Putzy is doing it again this summer too, but with his own group I guess. It's going to be a blast! I'm dying for this moment to be with my family. I'm praying it all works out so I can do it.
Speaking of family, my dad's brother, my Uncle Jerry, well his wife is in the hospital. Aunt Annette. Dear sweet Annette. She broke her ankle too! I am praying for a smooth recovery. Poor Uncle Jerry, can't catch a break. My Aunt Beah's husband, my Uncle Fred is trying to get well so he can go on his guys fishing trip with his boys and grand kids. I hope he can enjoy it all--he has cancer too; partial lobectomy done...what a troopah. Seriously, does every get sick all in the same 5 year span??? I guess
I better live it up now :) Better keep dancin like we're 22 as Taylor Swift says. ;)
I talked to my Uncle David tonight. His 69th birthday is this week. Holy shit where does the time go? He's the young oops like me on my mom's side. So next year will be the big 70, thats means another party. I feel like I've got 5 vacations planned already for next year. I hope I can pull them all off.
It is possible i might get up and run in the morning tomorrow...In fact I think I'll try. Ruthie I'm going to try to bust out a run for ya. A short one, maybe Lake Elkhorn. Since its been almost 3 weeks. I gotta get back out there. Must stay active. Stop drinking iced coffee and other sugary drinks!! No more red meat. We will be getting some fish up in this house!!!! Anyway.
Keep sending me love from above <3 <3
That is Lidgerwood, North Dakota, Main Street? 1908. When my grandmother was a little bitty girl. I think she lived some where nearby on a farm though. But I've been on that main street. and I vaguely remember it. Thats where it all began, were my grandparents met and married and started their awesome family, and all the love in my heart comes from <3
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)