Another Loss--Another Person To Run For

I'll just skip to it--my dad died last Sunday, June 14, 2015. 2 days after we buried my mother's ashes at the Veteran's Cemetery.  I'll write the details surrounding in a later post, because I do want to remember these feelings but at the moment it's not going to happen. So sad. So mad. So many feelings, nothing like when my mom died.  I have good hours of the day, and then there will be an hour or 2 of that anxiety and sadness tugging on my heart, then I'll just sob. Which then makes Travis sob. And then I have to go take an Ativan.

So there's a lot of things that have to happen before Monday's service--I have my mini picture boards I'm doing, I have to write my "speech," I have to clean the house and prepare for the family to come over, I have to iron clothes and get another dog's nails cut. Take the stuff to Witzke's to set up on Monday; that sort of stuff. I was supposed to work those 2 coming nights but I just can't. I don't have it in me. I'm in my PJ's now, I think I'd like to read my new Elin Hilderbrand book and enjoy the Ativan so I can get up early tomorrow and get a good day's work in.

I get to see Ann, only for 3 days, Aunt B.A. and her son Troy, and Aunt Susie and Uncle John.  I had the pleasure of seeing my mom's side of the family for Aunt Joan's funeral last month in California. It was sad to bury her, she died of the same retched Alzheimer's that Ruthie had. She has a son named Troy too, and he took very good care of her. Her other daughter, Darcy, lives in CA so it wasn't easy for her to be there as much as she wanted to. I love them both dearly. Darcy has been very sweet to me, and I'm so glad I have rekindled our cousin relationship. Same with Krista, my Uncle David's daughter. She was my mom's God-daughter, and I didn't even know that.

Anyway, I digress.

I'm happy to see family, sick of seeing them only at funerals.

I miss my Daddy something awful. Terrible.  Gut-wrenching. Sick to my stomach miss him type.
*sigh* Life is so short and fleeting, I wish I could turn back the hands of time. I'd be such a better daughter. Not that I was bad, but I'd do an even better job.

This is from 6/12/15, my mother's burial service at Garrison Forest Veteran's Cemetery. Terri handed him my mother's urn to see one last time before we buried her. Travis is in the background. He's numb, I can tell. His body is shutting down. He's mentally checking out. I just didn't realize it at the time.

I love you Daddy!