First Run of 2016 In The Books

First one in the bag! It was a good one, too. Hardly any pain except the "extra" loop that makes it a full 5K. It was satisfyingly challenging, and at the end I was pretty exhausted but I made it and I can't wait to do it again tomorrow. The weather has been exceptionally great this week, in the low 80's/70's and sunny with some breeze. It's a gift I swear. If it could be like this all the time I would be the happiest girl alive.

My goal is to do this 3 times a week. I gained a bit of weight, in my mid section as usual, so I'm hoping this helps right that wrong I made over the past couple months. 

Tomorrow I have my first appointment with an LCPC that does hypno-therapy. My goal is to get the anxiety under control. She had me write out 3-5 situations in my life so far that I felt safe, secure, and competent. My first thought was "all 3 at once?" Because I couldn't really recall any off the top of my head. And I'm not sure the 4 situations I wrote down are exactly what she's looking for but I guess I'll find out tomorrow. I have to work Sunday, and its with someone I don't know and haven't worked with before, so I'm already starting to get amped up over that. 

On a higher note, I was able to pay some bills and such this week; I signed up for the Caldwell Banker Real Estate pre-licensing class, and also a once a week Grief Workshop. So I'll be busy in April with that. The grief one goes until July. Then in May I'm probably going to visit my California family; my cousin is getting married and there will be a party for his fiance that I want to attend...aka a bachelorette party. I am dying to see them all too. And then Wisconsin in June!! Terri and I are hopefully going to be able to drive up to Rhinelander and down through Green Bay before the reunion  on June 25th. Lucy and Ethel, driving along through the backroads of Wisconsin...it should be good times. 

I haven't tackled my RAGBRAI thoughts or decision yet. As of now, I want to do it, but I haven't done any planning or training. So its up in the air if I'll participate, but I think I will at least go see my Aunt and Uncle and maybe visit my cousins when the finish the last day of it. 

One day at a time though. It's been such a rough 18 months of my life. I can't believe I made it. I have more to go though. This grief is like a demon sitting on my shoulder 24/7. Everything is a memory, a reminder, a tear drop, a flood of tears, anger, sadness, every emotion rolled up into a ball of hell. Some of my relationships have suffered lately and that weighs heavy on my mind. Its hard to lose people, even if you have only known them a short time; even a long time. Either way, when I'm attached or love someone and they are suddenly just not there anymore, it's so shitty. But again, I guess thats how life goes. Everything happens for a reason.

"Love's a game, wanna play?"

"Cuz darlin I'm a nightmare dressed like a daydream!"

"So its gonna be forever, or its gonna go down in flames..."

"It'll leave you breathless... or with a nasty scar..."

God I love my TayTay. I'm a dork, I'm still hooked on 1989. I wish I had been able to see that tour last summer. All of these songs may be geared towards the younger crowd, but I can relate to almost all of them in some funny way. And I love the fact that she is beefing with Kanye. Ok--really? Am I talking about this in a blog about my parents? LOLOL I guess I am. And now its time for bed...

Love ya Ruthie. Love ya Daddy.

~Sara